In Which We Try to Make a Ryan Lochte “Hey Girl” Meme, Just Because
Your move, Internet.
Check out VF.com’s Olympic coverage here.
Meme by Alexandra Beggs and Jack Deligter
Well, Internet? Will we or won’t we?
We are at a point where even the Internet is recycling memes. It’s too soon for a Hey Girl reboot. Go back to the drawing board.
Ryan Gosling, by Dana Loftus
Ugh this is the worst thing. The last thing I needed today was to see a picture of RyGos with an electric guitar. Or any pictures of anyone who is stupidly good-looking. Just ugh. Take your handsomeness somewhere else, bucko.
(via backstagebethy)
TMZ is the worst, but in case you were wondering - if RyGos pays for dinner AND a movie, he’s expecting you to put out.
I mean, that’s what we can take away from this, right?
Is Ryan Gosling the new Zooey Deschanel? Has his meme capacity reached critical mass? When will the inevitable backlash start? Is “Silent Sorta Cocky Cool Guy” the “Manic Pixie Dream Girl” for women? Discuss.
It has already started on my end, to an extent. You can’t deny that he’s a really great actor who, for the most part, gets involved in really great projects. Earlier in his career (post Murder By Numbers and The Notebook, pre all of this), he was actually the Manic Pixie Dream Guy. His characters were weird and emotional and tortured and you just kind of wanted to hug him and cry with him in a corner while you listened to really like amazing music, man, and talk about how both of you kind of really relate to L’Etranger. This is the kind of guy I totally want to marry the shit out of, because I could probably actually find someone like this (although the past seven years have proved otherwise). The current RyGos character profile is one that is less believable.
It’s going to take more media saturation to get the widespread backlash started, though, and it actually may never start because men still love Zooey Deschanel, right? They’re still pining away for her and standing up for her (HelloGiggles is so ok!), but - and this is based purely on my very unscientific observations - it’s the female former fans who are trashing her latest endeavors. I don’t see males taking that kind of route in the future. So until RyGos does something incredibly stupid, like taking on the rumored Batman reboot project, the people at large may never dislike him. And even then, there are those people who follow blindly, and these are the people who think that he would make an incredible Batman.
First thing in the morning, and I am dying.
Another priority of mine is take a picture with Ryan Gosling in which we both make that scrunched up nose face because basically I make that face in all of my pictures, much to my mother’s chagrin. It would happen on a Friday night. We would decide to have one of those low-key type nights where we end up drinking two six-packs of Smuttynose Pumpkin Ale which ultimately leads to taking stupid pictures on Photobooth like all annoying couples do. That’s a thing, I think.
Yes. This is so one of my priorities.
I rather prefer Ryan Gosling circa the early Naughts to TheGos11, back when it was only rumored that Peter Jackson fired him from The Lovely Bones for being too fat. Back when he was my indie darling who made me laugh/cry with his performances in United States of Leland, Stay, Half Nelson, and Lars and the Real Girl, struggling to not be typecast as the romantic hero type of guy.
It’s not that I haven’t enjoyed his last few films; aside from Blue Valentine, everything has been entertaining. Not particularly moving, but damn entertaining. And I guess it’s good that he looks, I don’t know, healthy or whatever, and he has done some amazing things with suits this year (olive green, bright indigo, grid pattern, the pajama suit), but I miss seeing the scraggly facial hair, the pale skin, sometimes lanky, sometimes chunky, sometimes whacked out on crack, but always heartfelt and seemingly sincere.
Another priority of mine is to watch Saturday morning cartoons with Ryan Gosling, wearing matching onesies with feet, eating some Corn Pops, after which he would squeeze my nose and say “Honk.”
I realize that I am slowly revealing my very specific and enriched fantasy life on the Net. I mean. I actually, like, don’t think about any of this ever.
Priorities require honesty. If you’re not 100% honest with yourself, your goals will never be realized. It’s very poetic to say that you want to make the world a better place, but don’t make that a priority if you don’t like doing charity work.
I realized at some point that one of my priorities was to live in New York City and so I made it happen. And I keep making it happen. Every time I think I’m out, they keep pulling me back in.
My topmost priority right now, though, is to have Ryan Gosling squeeze the tip of my nose and say “Honk!” in a goofy voice. This face is the face I imagine he would make right before that moment, to psych me out. Nevermind that the headline associated with this picture is “Ryan Gosling gets humped by a sloth.”
Honk.
Drive: An Illustrated Response | The Hairpin
This is one of my favorite things I’ve ever seen. Obviously if you haven’t seen Drive it will be less funny, but it made me shake with silent laughter and cry a little bit.
How are you? Just wanted to let you know that I saw Drive. Nice work, beautifully shot. Such terrific violence! I mean… I know that wasn’t quite your doing, but you know, whatever.
Um. But. Ok. So. I’m not saying the music was bad in this movie. Really. It was fun. But. Like. For the next one, can you, like, use something different? I’m just telling you this for your own good. The ’80s-but-not-really pop music juxtaposed with the ultraviolence - I know you like that, and I like it, too, but… I don’t know. Change it up a bit next time. It can’t hurt.
Anyway, overall, good stuff, really. Keep it up.
Regards,
Soma
PS: I’m sorry Ryan Gosling said you were Norwegian on Conan. At least it’s kind of close to Denmark? Actors, huh.
Accent theme by Handsome Code
