notes to (future) self

I Learned Something Today: NYE in NYC Edition

Last night was my first big New Year’s Eve in New York. It was great because of the people I was with, but it was also underwhelming. This is a lesson you could learn in season 1 of How I Met Your Mother, but you know, I guess I’ve just always been a hands on learner.

For posterity, here are the lessons I learned:

1. Take party descriptions very literally. If the description says “balloon drop” then they literally mean one balloon will drop. 
2. Take party descriptions not so literally, but technically. If the description says “champagne toast” then that means that the people in the DJ booth will get to drink the champagne and you will just get sprayed with it. An accidental drop of champagne on your tongue while the DJ yells HAPPY NEW YEAR still counts as a champagne toast.
3. So if it says “champagne toast” and you get to the bar and they ran out of champagne, they probably didn’t have any champagne at all. It’s a lie. 
4. Pretty much anything really awesome in a party description is a lie or a half-truth.
5. Just stay away from ticketed parties, unless you know for a fact that the promoter/party planner is known to throw amazing parties.
6. Forget it, just stay away from ticketed parties because you can’t trust people to give accurate event reviews.

So, future self, please remember this experience when you’re frantically trying to find something to do for New Year’s Eve, and remember to just say no.